Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Try THIS - Mocha Martini

I don’t know about you, but I LOVE mocha. Coffee plus hot cocoa equals fucking delicious. So I made a drink that took this exquisite flavor and made it alcoholic. You can thank me after you try it.

Here’s how to make a Mocha Martini. Or if you don’t feel like making your own, any competent bartender that has the ingredients should be able to make you one if you tell them the recipe.

Add in a shaker:
1 part Bailey’s
2 parts Van Gogh Double Espresso vodka

Shake well and strain into a martini glass. If you would like to make it a little richer and smoother, add half a part cream. To make it sweeter, add a packet or two of sugar.

If you want to get fancy, you can sprinkle chocolate shavings on top.

Last step- ENJOY!

Regular mocha keeps you warm, this one warms you up and gets you drunk. It’s win-win.


Monday, December 12, 2011

What Causes a Hangover?

I know what you’re thinking. All you want for Christmahanakwanza is to know what causes a hangover and how to not have them. This post is the first in a series of three about the causes, how to avoid and get rid of hangovers. Party on.

No doubt, hangovers blow. And everyone knows that drinking causes them. Duh. But in knowing the specific causes, and a little of the how and why behind them, we can still party like rockstars with as little feeling like shit the next day possible. This way you can go and do it all again the next night instead of sitting at home alone cuddling yourself in a snuggie.

So here are the causes of hangovers. Try really hard to avoid these or picture me saying “I told you so” the next day when you feel like crap.

Cause #1 – You are Dehydrated
This is a super obvious one. We all know that you should drink water when you’re drunk. I think I even learned this in school or from my parents or something. We'll blow through this one, but I’ll talk a little about how it works- hopefully the knowledge will help motivate you to actually do what you know you should.

Alcohol is a diuretic- that’s why there are always loads of people peeing at bars- in the bothroom, hopefully. It's about to get dorky- alcohol gets into your blood and is absorbed by your kidneys causing them to decrease the production of a hormone that causes water absorption. Since this hormone is reduced, your body doesn’t retain enough water and you get dehydrated. If all you got form that is booze makes you pee a bunch, that's good enough.

Cause #2 – You Haven’t Eaten
It takes a lot of energy and effort for your body to process alcohol. Lots of people go drinking for hours and then don’t eat anything until the next day. No food for a long time but lots of booze instead leaves your body without enough energy to process the alcohol. Then the next day your body is drained of nutrients and run ragged from the effort. The end result- your head is fuzzy and you feel like shit.

Cause #3 – You Drank Cheap Alcohol
Cheap alcohol contains a lot of impurities. They have gone through a less rigorous filtration process- that’s why they’re cheap. This includes rail brand liquors and cheap wines. The impurities get into your system and you feel like ass the next day. Plus they make you puke more.

Some people say that dark alcohols will make you more hung over. Sort of. Dark alcohols are more likely to have impurities and need a more awesome filtration process than clear alcohols. Jamison for example, is well filtered and won’t hang you over nearly as bad as crappy whiskey or cheap red wine.  If what you're drinking looks like the picture to the left, your tomorrow is going to be fucked.

Cause #4 – You Drank Jager
Jager has about every quality of something that will hang you over. Plus it’s fucking gross. Stop drinking Jager unless you’re still in high school.

Cause #5 – You Had Bubbly, Sugary and/or Caffeinated Drinks
These things won’t directly give you a hangover, but they do a lot indirectly. Lets break it down.

Sugar and caffeine delay the affects of alcohol, so you drink, don’t feel anything, and then drink more because it’s not working. In the end, you thought you were more sober than you were and consumed more alcohol than you would have if you were feeling the effects in real time. Also, because breaking down alcohol wears your body down and produces other nasty shit in your system (I didn't talk about this last point because it gets too sciency. All you really need here is that the more alcohol that enters your blood, the worse you will feel tomorrow), the worse the hangover.

Lastly, if you are anything like me, sugar and caffeine get you jacked up and you do ambitious (stupid) shit like order lots of shots. Again, you are putting lots of alcohol in your blood stream. Sugar and caffeine also dehydrate you. Sugar + caffeine + alcohol = Three pronged dehydration action.

Bubbly drinks cause more alcohol to enter your bloodstream (opposed to get broken down). The more alcohol that enters your blood, the worse the hangover. So, if you want to get drunk faster and easier, but feel shittier the next day, drink drinks with bubbles. On an empty stomach.

I am sure that there are more but these are some good causes that are also super common.

It’s useful, or at the very least, interesting to know why you get hung over.  This way, you can hopefully avoid them. But then again, part of the fun of drinking is making bad decisions.  So now, hopefully next time you are out getting crunk you will save the bad decisions for stuff that doesn’t stop you from drinking again the next night. 


Friday, December 2, 2011

How to Get Drunk off of Candy Canes

I put this recipe up about a year ago but recently did a private party where the host asked me to make it into a martini.  The original recipe was a little too heavy, so I switched it up a little.  Here is the new and improved mix that is a great shot or martini:
1 ½ ounces Peppermint Schnapps
1 ½ ounces Pinnacle Whipped Vodka (you may noticed that I'm obsessed with this brand recently)
½ ounce half and half
Add all ingredients into a shaker with ice, shake and pour.  It will make 3-4 shots or 1 martini. Garnish the martini with a mini candy cane on the rim of the glass.
Drink and get jolly.
Candy Cane Shot
The holidays is a time to reflect, give thanks, be with loved ones, and most of all, drink and eat a TON. So this holiday season while you are drinking your weight in booze, be sure to get a little festive and do a round of this shot. It’s the Candy Cane shot. This shot is actually the festive and seasonal shot that I am doing for a private holiday party in a week or so- guaranteed to get Santa crunk.
It’s very simple:
1) One part Peppermint Schnapps
2) One part cream
3) Half a part vodka
Shake in ice and pour into shot glasses. Then drizzle a dash of grenadine in each and stir a little with a straw to make little red swirls.
Drink and get jolly.